• Yourtrendsetter

Why I haven’t been posting!

Updated: Dec 16, 2018

Welcome back Loviess!

So ever since this semester started, it has been very hard for me. I’ve been struggling with life, literally. & I decided to open up because hey, it’s been a tough one but you know, I “made it”.

Between classes, daily life struggles, homework, and life itself, I couldn't find time to post on my blog, nor on my Instagram. I’m sitting here, trying to type the way I felt so terrible at some point that I thought about committing suicide. How I have been wanting to feel better every day during these past months and how it just got worse.

So, here it goes, my life has literally been falling apart lately. Someone very very close to me died, my aunt, my mom basically, as you my Haitian followers and readers probably know, Sanders' mom died. Yeah, she was mine too. She passed away right after thanksgiving and still, it hurts, deeply.

A lot of you guys have been asking me whether I am going to Haiti or not this Christmas, and the answer is I don’t have a clue. I was supposed to go on the 14th, you see, but my dad is hospitalized because he had a stroke so I had to go help my mom in Florida. My grandpa is at the hospital In Canada. Yes I want to go home, But shit how selfish would I be right ? How can I go home ? What is even home at this point ? And it’s okay, I understood it the hard way. It has to be okay. I am hoping on going to Haiti at some point, but I don't know if it’ll be possible. So I’ll just leave you guys with a poem for today, about how I feel...

“You’ve made it”

is what they

would tell me.

& I did.

I’ve made it.

But if only,

They knew..

If only they knew how

my body was one stop away

from drowning itself

If only they knew how

I haven’t made it out

alive, whole, happy.

I’ve made it, though.

& still, I feel

lifeless, dead, gone.

And so I do the right thing

I respond to all of them

“I guess I did.”

- I’ve made it

P.S. Bare with me guys, I’ll post soon, hopefully. Thank you for reading this boring story about my feelings.


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